Why DIDN’T I Get Married!?

Ok let me start this off by saying that this post is NOT a Tyler Perry “Why Did I Get Married?” post.  This post is strictly about me and where I am today and why I feel as if the Lord brought me here. FYI… this post is VERY transparent. So let me begin.

The year is 2004.  I was going out-of-town to visit some family members.

*SIDE NOTE* Let me make this clear for you.  The family members in this story are NOT blood relatives.  In the West Indian culture, I’m Jamaican BTW,  friends of the family are called auntie, uncle, mum, or dad.  Their children are your cousins. The people who are older are considered grandparents and are called whatever you may call your regular grandparents.

Back to the story…… Before I left for the airport I had a falling out with my boyfriend at the time.  Things were said and I left for the trip as a single lady. So I get to my destination and of course I’m having a good time with my cousins, and just glad to be with family period.

As the time draws to a close, one of my cousins shows some interest.  So we decided that since we are NOT blood related that we can pursue, and we did.  It actually was a GREAT relationship!! I think about it now and I can say it was my BEST and TRUEST relationship.  EVERYTHING you could want is a man I had.  But, some issues arose and the relationship ended…and so did the engagement. Yes, we were engaged.

Now you might be asking, “what happened to this guy?!”  Well, he recently got married! lol

Now we are in the present, November 23, 2011.  I am preparing for my FIRST Thanksgiving dinner at my house.  I will be having plenty of guest.  It is now that I remember that I have several light bulbs that need to be changed. One is the light in my kitchen, the long fluorescent lights, and two the porch lights.  

I was unable to change both lights myself. I cried out to God and said, “see if I had a husband I wouldn’t be in this mess!”  I walked outside to check my mail, only to find out that none of the mail was mine. It belonged to my
neighbor two doors down (Mystery Jets have a song titled “Two Doors Down”…..sorry ADD moment).

So I walked down to take the mail to my neighbor.  While there I asked if he could help me with my lights issue.  He and his daughter walked with me to my house, but he was unable to complete the job. BUT he gave me the number of another neighbor that could.


I thanked my neighbor and his daughter for their help and immediately called the other neighbor.  NOT only was he going to come help change the bulbs he indicated that he was on his way to Home Depot and would purchase the bulbs that I needed!!

It works!!

Well…the neighbor came by. He changed the light bulbs that needed changing. Now, this man did not ask for ANY money, but I gave him $40. Before he left, he gave me his

card.  My neighbor does tile work.  Of course I got excited, letting him know that this summer I

WONDERFUL neighbor!!!

would be giving him a call.  I had to take the time to thank the Lord for still putting people in my life to help me when I need help.

I’m sure that some of you all are wondering how this all fits with the title of the post.  Well you see, I’m not married for a reason.  The Lord is doing some SERIOUS work on me.  I am now officially ok with the fact that I am not married nor in a relationship.  This is the time that I can let the Lord teach me how to be a Proverbs 31 woman…

10-31 “A good woman is hard to find,
and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously 
all her life long.
She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,
and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places
and brings back exotic surprises.
She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast
for her family and organizing her day.
She looks over a field and buys it,
then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden.
First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,
rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work,
is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,
diligent in homemaking.
She’s quick to assist anyone in need,
reaches out to help the poor.
She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows;
their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
She makes her own clothing,
and dresses in colorful linens and silks.
Her husband is greatly respected
when he deliberates with the city fathers.
She designs gowns and sells them,
brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant,
and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her;
her husband joins in with words of praise:
“Many women have done wonderful things,
but you’ve outclassed them all!”
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
The woman to be admired and praised
is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Give her everything she deserves!
Festoon her life with praises!” (Proverbs 31 – Message Bible)

I KNOW in my heart that I am not this type of woman yet, BUT the Lord is pruning me everyday to be ready for my husband.  It is for this reason why I DIDN’T get married.


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This is a place for me to reflect on things that are happening in my life.  I might just be one person in this big world of ours, but I'm one person that's on a mission... Life:: the sequence of physical and mental experiences that make up the existence of an individual. Life is a funny thing.  It is forever changing and as it changes so will I.

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