Last night I went to bed knowing that this morning I would wake up and need to blog. It has been some time, but lately I have had a LOT on my mind. Instead of blogging I sometimes write it down in my journal, while at other times I just get on FaceTime and talk to my Mum or MarcoPolo and chat it up with some girl friends.
Most times it helps, but other times the topics arise again in this beautiful brain of mine and don’t go anywhere. So these thoughts then turn into dreams…some good and some
not so good horrific!
So I woke up this morning, showered, turned on the kettle and made a cuppa and now I’m ready to get this party started.
“True friendship is not when you go to school and hang around with someone just because you have no one else to chill with. Its not calling someone up when your bored because they are fun to talk to. Its not when you cant think of a birthday gift and end up buying your friend a wal-mart gift card. Is not when you have to talk to someone about something you don’t particularly care about (like how much snow we got last year) to avoid an awkward silence.
Friendship is when you love someone with every ounce of your being and genuinely want them to be happy even if it means sacrificing something your self to make them happy. A true friend is someone you can talk to about your feelings, someone you can tell things you could never tell your family or even your partner. They are someone who you don’t have to talk to but someone you want to talk to; someone you will go out of your way to be with. Friendship is when you love someone so much you want to hold them and never let go, someone you want to rest your head on and cry, and you would let them cry on you too. Its someone you can talk to about things you disagree on and end up being closer for that disagreement. Its when you think about someone and how close you are to them and how much you love them and you smile and are happy all over.
Friendship is when your love for someone exceeds your need for them. (the Dali Lama said that)!” – Urban Dictionary: Friendship
Now as you see I got this definition from the Urban Dictionary (such a great place or resource lol). There are some words in there that standout to me.
These words are VERY powerful and I come to the realization that in some of my “friendships” they were not there.
Last night that came to surface when a friend called me. See I met this young lady through someone else, this someone who we are BOTH no longer friends with. The friendship we have is a distant one, meaning that I live in an entirely different country but we catch up on Facebook. We really haven’t spoken in a while, but last night…THREE HOURS!!
It was wonderful.
I got to hear her children in the background, talking and laughing. Her telling them it was late and “no, you can’t have anymore water. NO I’m not going to make a grilled cheese sandwich. It’s 9:30 at night.” Boy, did I laugh.
We talked about the state of our friendship and that even though we had not talked in years or seen each other physically, we were in one another thoughts and prayers. That’s when the table turned, and we began to discuss the lost friendship of a former friend.
We both knew it was for the best. For her because she is married with children and for me because I’m also at different stage in life. For both of us because we want to be drama free.
You know that saying… “People come into your life for a reason and season”. Well the REASON and SEASON are gone and done with and honestly I’m at peace. It’s a peace that says
- I no longer have to feel the pressure of keeping your secrets
- I no longer have to tell you that what you’re doing isn’t right
- I no longer have to preface sentence with “I love you, but…”
I am FREE…
and it feels DAMN good!