Welcome to Part 4 of my review of the almost two years that I have lived in Nigeria. I know…I haven’t done a SINGLE video and I won’t say that’s a horrible thing.
Well…videos take time and I’m been uber busy the last year and a half teaching and such. TRUST me…I wish I had done more YouTube videos, but
Now, let’s begin…
Driving in Nigeria
People get so shocked when I tell them that I have a Naija driver’s license. Not only do I have a license, but I actually have a vehicle and I drive. To me driving here in Nigeria is quite fun. Now in the beginning I felt as if I was going to go insane.
See depending on where you live and where you are traveling to the road conditions can be an issue. In many areas of Nigeria, the poor general condition of roads is liable to cause accidents, which I see quite often. Also the frequent power outages that result in traffic light shutdowns demand extra caution.
Below are some Tips on How to Drive in Nigeria via the Naija Single Girl (my sistah you are funny o!)
- It is your road, everybody just drives in it: You pay your tax, yea? That same tax was used to build every road you ply. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re not a shareholder, major one at that. Continue to drive as you please. Na you be roadlord!!
- Everybody behind the steering is either high or incredibly stupid: Yes, you are the only sane person driving. Why would someone complain just because you went left without indicating? Easy, he had a bottle of Alomo before leaving his house.
- Its your horn, do with it whatever you please: so what if you cant go a second without blowing the horn? Why should people find it offensive? Is it their horn? Abi, it’s their hand? If they don’t like it, they would have atleast left the house with ear plugs.
- Chivalry is dead: its OK to curse. It shows you know the right things to do on the road. It shows you have power. You can stick up your middle finger or give them the legendary ‘Waka’, I’m sure the offender would learn from their mistakes and correct themselves instantly.
- You are never wrong: whether you are driving in the opposite direction or you are over taking from the right, no matter the instance, never ever for one second doubt yourself. Carry on my child, as Vin Diesel that you are.
- Your trafficator, your choice: You don’t want people predicting your next movement. You would always want to introduce the element of surprise. No need to indicate your next turn, just swerve. Now clap for yourself, well done.
- Forget the traffic by the left, we would give way to you: people who listen to that ‘give way to the traffic by your left’ crap are misguided. They ought to give way to you and only you. Na you be the oga.
- Green- go, yellow- faster, red- go, but be invisible: the western world had it all wrong. They just want to use traffic light to control us as usual. Thank goodness we are wise enough to guide ourselves.
- You are the only one in a hurry: feel free to pull a ‘fast and furious’ stunt on the road. If someone is in a hurry, he/she would try harder to get to their destination on time. But that’s none of your business. Any little space you see, squeeze yourself in. Never forget it’s all about you.
- The accidents are never your fault: it is not your fault that the driver of the black corolla parked by the roadside and caused the scratches on your car. Neither is it your fault that the car before yours stopped just in time for your car to hit it. . .oh sorry, be hit by it. Luckily for you, you know your right. Now fight for it.
Every space is a parking space: it doesn’t really matter if you park in the middle of the road, on top of the fence or in the middle of your dining room, as long as you are happy, the world is happy with you. Just ignore the nags you see on the road, they are just jealous of the amount of wisdom you posess.
My Naija people…be safe out there and I’ll see you out on the roads soon soon!