The thoughts written in the post are of my own growing adult mind.
For the past month I’ve been going to bed with a LOT on my mind. Sometimes I wake up with peace and the other times I get to work just tired.
I’m right now talking with my friend Jai and she just said something that is breaking me to core.
Being a strong black woman is overrated.
I’m tired of being strong all the damn time and being an adult doesn’t make it any ghat damn easier. Lately I feel like I’m having to choose one man over another. Both men are GREAT and are a godsend. This new man (now known as NM) makes me feel safe, but doesn’t really know or love me. NM wants me there is no known security or potential growth for the future. I wouldn’t say that it would be a down grade in it’s entirety, but it would be a step down.
Let’s discuss the main man (now known as MM) . MM and I have had some challenges in this last year. I LOVE MM with a passion, but this year he decided to listen to the advice of people who didn’t really have his best interest at heart. MM saw the error of his ways and publicly apologized letting it be know that he was wrong. In MM I see growth and he also provides the avenues to allow me to continue with my hustle.
I know to some this may seem not so difficult, but…this is my life and I’m trying hard to live it to the fullest.
This is exactly how I feel…
Dwayne Wayne is my MM. I thought I’d moved on to the NM, but in walks MM and shows me exactly what I’ll be missing if I “move on”. Do I continue in the direction of the NM, knowing that I will be taken cared of but my growth won’t be great? Or I go with my heart and do what I know would be BEST by going with the love that is true, enduring the ups and downs and coming out as pure gold?
Now I’m fully aware that nothing in life is perfect and that every situation is different and can be difficult when you’re on it, but life is also about making the best choice for you!
I’m learning the “living life is NOT overrated”! I will still wonder at times how I am EVER surviving, but NOTHING is wrong with that.